I am hearing over and over, "we have grown apart," "we don't know each other anymore," "our interests aren't the same anymore," "they have changed." OR "We don't have time," "we can't afford date night," "the kids have activities." These are all excuses folks!
The truth is the enemy wants nothing more than to ruin our marriage. He knows our marriage is supposed to a representation of the marriage of Christ and His bride, He knows our servant love is to be a model to those who don't know Christ and to those who enter our home. What a brilliant plan to tear apart the Christian family....to wound hearts in the home to the point where they question where God is...to distract hearts and minds so our calling is so dissolved we only live for our own comfort and solace.
You see our job is to fight for this relationship with all our might. Let's be proactive and not reactive....I find all too often couples wait until they feel like it's too late and the relationship is irreparable. Why? Why do we feel like that won't happen to us? The enemy is prowling around looking for people with this mindset...I guarantee you! He's looking for those who don't think it will happen to them and those who are not willing to put in the effort, those who believe they are immune to his tactics.
So whether you have been married months or years; here are some thoughts on how to be proactive today:
- Date Night: If you don't do it at all...pick one night a month and move up to once a week. If you can't afford it, get creative....you gotta fight for this!
- Touch More Often: Make sure you kiss goodbye and goodnight at the very least! While passing by...give a little touch or squeeze.
- Text or call during the day: Just a quick "hey I'm thinking about you" message during the day goes a long way!
- Devotion: Share a devotion together.....in the am or before bed. If this is uncomfortable or new to you - just ask your spouse to read it and discuss one item in the devo and ask the Lord to help you both become more comfortable with the time in His word.
- Ask "date like questions": Ask the fun, silly, and really hard questions. Remember when you were dating and you asked the "what if" questions? Do you do that anymore? I still want to know what Kevin dreams about. I still want to know what concerns him the most as we grow old together etc.... but we don't often sit an actually talk about those things anymore.
- Ask "Elizabeth's question" and really listen": Remember last week when Elizabeth encouraged us to ask this question, "What's is like to sit on the other side of me?" and truly listen to the answer. Do that...it may be tough...but this is worth it! You have to fight and be strong and willing to make some hard changes if we are going to win this battle with the enemy for our marriage!
- Seek Godly Counsel: If you are in the position where you feel like you are now on the defensive don't wait another minute - get Godly counsel for your marriage. Do whatever it takes to get help now.
We would love to pray with you and celebrate the things you are doing to stay strong in this area.