We have all felt the sting of searing words hurled our way and we know the healing balm of words spoken in love. We know the impact to our own souls but often we forget when our words and emotions take over as we communicate in our home. I want my words to be enveloped in kindness...even in discipline.
When I think of my Mother's words it brings such sweet memories. Just the way she would say my name was soft and full of love. Her words of correction were also encased in a loving manner, never cutting or to berate but to gently guide and correct. You see, she knew the ache of harsh, demeaning words that forever rang in her mind. My Grandmother never spoke harshly to me however; as a young, stressed business woman and a caretaker to an invalid mother; my Grandmother used her words to control those around her. Many times, my mother was the recipient of harsh, critical, and demeaning words.
My Mother had made amends with her Mother but until Mom's last breath my Grandmother's harsh words were seared into her soul. She forever longed for her Mother's words of encouragement, acceptance, and love. Those never came. I have seen the far-reaching affects of a Mother's words that cut like a knife. From this experience I know my words have the power to change the emotional trajectory of my children's emotional life. That is a big!
In Proverbs 18:21 we are reminded "Words kill, words give life, they are either poison or fruit, you choose."
In Proverbs 31:26 one part of the virtuous women description is "when she speaks her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."
I want my words to be that of wisdom and kindness. I want my children to know they are loved unconditionally, they are of high value, and they are accepted just as they have been created. I want them to trust that my words, even those of discipline, come from a heart of love.
I want to encourage those who struggle in this area. It is NEVER too late for change. If you find yourself using hurtful words towards your children; it's not too late to show them the beauty of repentance and forgiveness. Ask the Lord and your children for forgiveness. Then seek the Holy Spirit for guidance in every interaction.
There are times when I literally speak these scriptures over myself as I interact with my children:
Lord please "put a guard over my mouth." Psalm 141:3
Help me "be quick to hear and slow to speak and slow to anger" James 1:19
Lord please "don't let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth but only what is helpful in the building up of others, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
I pray that you and I will be Momma's with words that heal, lift up, encourage, and instruct with kindness. That our children grow to long for our words and seek our words for laughter, support, guidance, and love. I pray our "Momma's words" bring a sweet smile when remembered.