What's it like to be married to me?
We don't generally self-evaluate at such a level, do we? We are so quick to judge how marriage is going based on how our spouse is "performing". We think about all the ways things could be different, how he/she could change. We wonder how long it's going to take before they do things the way we want, act the way we think they should, or be the person we wish they would become.......
But all along, we don't turn the mirror on ourselves. So today I ask myself and I encourage you to do the same...
What's it really like to be married to me?
Here are a few questions to answer today:
- What do I sound like?
Am I the kind of wife that is encouraging and lifting him up? Do I honor him with my words, and speak life into him or do I tear him down? When I address him, do I speak with respect or annoyance? When I greet him and call his name, is there an unspoken tone of love and adoration or irritation? Do I speak to him as the head of our home or do I speak to him like a child? What do I sound like in day to day communication?
- What do I act like?
I imagine we can all agree on this...When we were dating - we were fun people! In our own way, there was something in us that really appealed to our spouses. They enjoyed being with us, we were fun, we were happy, we were exciting to be around. Is that how we are today? Is that what we are like to live with? Fun, enjoyable, happy, and exciting?? Do I act like my man and marriage are the best thing on this earth....I love our life or it's a mistake and a drudgery? What do I act like most of the time?
- What do I look like?
Now, before I go too far here I want to clarify...this is not about a number on a scale or a size....this is about a mindset. How am I taking care of myself ...for him? It is important that our men know we want to look good for them and be physically fit to enjoy life with them. When we were first dating, We always made sure we were looking our best for them. Do we still think that way? How we take care of ourselves conveys a mindset to continue to be desirable to them. What do I look like?
Our marriage is a gift, this special person is a gift straight from God himself and we thought so at one time, we acted like it and committed ourselves to that person...as long as we both shall live. Do they feel that still today?
You know, the enemy would love nothing more than to tear apart every Christian marriage. He works hard day and night to tear at our commitment to each other, to annoy us with each other, and to get us to believe the lie that this is not what I signed up for and it must be better somewhere else. Don't feed into that lie. Don't buy into the lie that if only he/she would do this...I would be happier, act nicer, take care of myself. Take some time today to evaluate how YOU are doing in this are. Really ask the Lord to reveal to you what it is really like to be married to you. Then ask Him to help with any area that needs to change...He will come alongside of you and support you. It's His desire that your marriage is a beautiful reflection of Him and His love.
So, go ahead and ask yourself the question....What's it really like being married to me? Then lean in, listen, and make a change!